~Arzu's Vault~

a trivia

2005-11-16T13:49:00.000+05:00

here is a little trivia i stumbled across today.

1. Ice cream or Yogurt?
ice cream - definitely ice cream. No doubt about that. Ben & Jerry's or a really really good hand made vanilla ice cream or a walls magnum ice cream - they are the most fun to eat, especially when they go a little melty and you crack the chocolate on top and it runs all over your fingers.........

2. What's your favorite board game?
thats a tough one. i dont often play board games but im rather partial to cluedo or scrabble. i always lose at monopoly though - not ruthless enough.

3. Do you play video games? If yes, what game system(s) do you use?
no i don't play them. haroon does - he has a ps2 shortly to be traded for the new PSP thingy or maybe the ps3. leaves me cold to be honest.

4. If you were given a chance to change your name, would you do it? If yes, what would your new name be?
when I was younger i would have done - i wanted to be mahnoor or aleena but as i have grown older i like my name now - it suits me, its grown-up but fun. thanks mum and dad.

5. What are the last 2 blogs that you've visited? Please share the links with us so we can check them out.
a-Fuzzy Ramblings check out http://myfuzzeduplife.blogspot.com - his posts are so simple and at times so thought provoking. he writes what he feels and he makes me laugh until i cry. and i occasionally check out Chronicles of a Marraige Foretold at http://sajanajayaraj.blogspot.com/ . since i am going to be married soon this blog is quite an insight for me.

6. What's your biggest frustration?
seriously? right now my biggest frustration is the fact that the man i love is on the other side of the country and i cant be with him. yet anyway. i think thats a big enough frustration for a now.

for fuzz

2005-11-14T13:51:00.000+05:00

since the new yrs eve is not too far away and i know someone would be indulging in serious gulp-downs-to-go ive decided to lend a helping hand to you fuzz. haroon read these somewhere and we all tried it over the weekend in karachi. amazing results. try these on for size and im sure you will love me for them ;~)

cocktail a: 'Ice 'T' Knee'
60ml vodka
25ml icewine
15ml cold jasmine tea
stir all ingredients with ice and strain into chilled martini glasses. garnish with lemon zest twist.

cocktail b: 'Plumiscuous'
45ml cytrus vodka
30ml pressed apple juice
25ml fresh lime juice
15ml vanilla syrup
half a plum
to make a vanilla syrup pour equal parts of sugar and water to boil. while the liquid is hot, add a vanilla bean. remove the mixture from the heat and whisk. let it cool down then in a mixing glass muddle the plum before adding the apple and lime juices. then add the syrup and lastly the vodka. add ice to the cocktail, shake well and strain into chilled martini glass. finish with the plum slice as garnish.

cocktail c: 'Cubeltini'
60ml vodka
30ml simple syrup
30ml fresh lime sour
some mint leaves
some cucumber slices
to make simple syrup combine two parts sugar and one part water. for fresh lime sour mix simple syrup with lime juice and add some egg white. once these are made muddle cucumber, mint leave and simple syrup. add vodka and fresh lime sour. shake and strain into a martini glass and garnish with fresh mint.

time of my life

2005-11-14T12:32:00.000+05:00

im back after the weekend trip down south and it was great. met all my czns and had a blast at the beach at night. it was a little spooky but it was a lot of fun. i miss them. i want to go back again now :~(
things are not ok with fuzz at all. poor guy has been through a lot lately and he needs to bounce back. he should know better that drinking him self silly and doing stupid things to forget his past is not the best of things to do. i know im lecturing again but that is what i do best haina? i wish for once he would listen to what im and everyone else is saying. he needs to let it go now. its been too long and hes killing him self with the guilt that he feels. she never believed him anyways and as far as she knows he has moved on so why is he so bent upon tormenting his own mind now? i wish i knew. i just hope he gets over it all soon because he is just not the same any more like the fuzz we knew.
haroon just emailed me a pic that i hate him for. he says that this is the sign we should put outside our house once we get married:

bastard!

oh and the most amazing thing happened to me yesterday! i received the sweetest marriage proposal of my life! it all happened during this movie I was watching. now I cant even remember what movie it was but thats not important anyway. what is important is that part of the movie involved two people getting married. okay to set the scene it was me and my 7 yr old czn omer who were watching the movie. anyway i was just sitting on the couch when suddenly i realized that the omer was making his way to sit beside me on the couch. once he got there he motioned for me to lean in close so that he could whisper something to me. when I did, he said, "if you would like to marry me, raise your hand." thats it. thats the best marriage proposal ive ever heard! i tried explaining that i couldnt marry him but that id be one of the "clappers" in the audience. i told him hed have to choose some other girl when he was ready to get married. suddenly that little light bulb went on over his head and he said, "oh okay! ill marry sarah from school, then!"
so there you have it...elated and substituted all in the span of less than 5 minutes. ah well. men! :~p

afternoon's afterthoughts

2005-11-11T15:10:00.000+05:00

firstly, i want to express the most enormous thank you. thank you to those of you that take the time to read this blog as often as you do. i know it isn't always the most amusing place to be. thank you all for the comments you've left me - there are some of you in particular that have really touched me with your comments and your comments really do make me think carefully, which is not always a bad thing.

so with that in mind, and with an outright refusal to delete the mornings post in all its details (which seems like a good idea right now but i won't give in and delete it), im springing back :~p

ive heard some wise words and i realise that what i have with haroon is far too precious to jeopardise with guilt, anxiety, and all those other negative emotions that seem to be milling around. i'm not saying i'm free from those emotions - doubtless they will rear their ugly heads again, but im not going to give in to them and i'm not going to allow them to taint the connection i have with him.

as for the eating thing - well, i sat and thought and pondered, had a few internal battles with myself, and at lunchtime i sat down and ate lunch. surprising concept for me but after a morning spent planning a day of starvation, to sit and eat lunch is pretty good. so im giving myself a virtual pat on the back and feeling like i did actually show some control. again, i'm not out of the woods, but the wise words made me think - do i really want to get down so low that i can't get out? and truthfully the answer is no i dont.

what i want is to enjoy and savour every moment that im able to spend with him - there are so many circumstances beyond our control that make our time precious right. i don't want to spoil a moment of that. this is not about me becoming blase about being unfaithful to him. and yes, of course there are times when i will feel guilty and whatever. but i want to see where the road takes us. Both haroon and i know where we want it to take us, we know what direction we are heading in eventually but free from expectations, and enjoying the ride. because what we have now, whilst not 'real' in the sense that it can be physically touched, is every bit as pleasurable and fulfilling, and in many ways it is more 'real' than that which claims to be reality. so im going to celebrate that. we're going to celebrate that. we're going to celebrate each other.

i spoke to him again on the phone this afternoon. for the first time in a what seems like forever, we were both alone. no-one else home, no-one expected home. i have to be honest and say that i rather hoped there would be more to our phone call that just casual conversation - although it's never casual. i have a cordless phone, so it tends to wander around the house with me, and i must admit i find it hard to stand still when im chatting on the phone with him.

it's these little things that make the difference. listening to ... The Doves, There Goes The Fear

Close your brown eyes, and lay down next to me

Close your eyes, lay down

'Cos there goes the fear, let it go

You turn around and life's passed you by

You look to ones you love to ask them why

You look to those you love to justify

You turned around and life's passed you by

a confused state of clarity

2005-11-11T09:04:00.000+05:00

contradictory I know. things have started to smooth out, like when you're ironing your clothes, they start taking shape. it must have something to do with how i approach things now. i am determined that nothing will ruin my day and it doesnt. the moment i know i've reached my threshold and am about to lash out, i do, but in a numb sort of way. i know that my feelings won't matter in a few days time, the anger always fades or else gets buried 6 ft under. and man is it helluva drama when the angry spirit comes back to life :~p

but thats rare & only when i'm pms-ing ;~)

still excited

2005-11-10T15:13:00.000+05:00

i have been reading this blog by sajana Chronicles of a Marraige Foretold like crazy. feels so much like what i am going through right now. so jittery, nervous and yet excited! it feels so great to be in love and know that you have that person with you forever. i love you and i cant wait to spend my entire life with you baby.

a bride to be

2005-11-10T14:14:00.000+05:00

why do i have butterflies in my tummy right now? this is finally happening. i am going to marry the love of life and there is no one to stop me now. i want to scream and shout and tell the whole world that we did it. they said we could not but we did. thank you thank you thank you thank you :~D i cant hardly wait now!

my rant

2005-11-09T14:32:00.000+05:00

i hate him so much right now that i can tear him to shreds. he made me wait for an hour just because his royal highness was busy playing hoops with the hoodies. makes me wonder who is more important? me or the fucking basketball? i am not going to return his calls and i am not taking any excuses. this is too much and i am close to losing my mind now. if he wants to make an effort he should make one and stop raving about the stars and the moon and shit. all i want is a guy who loves me and can make me feel special. he does that but at times i think he takes me for granted and it hurts.

where is my welcoming party????

2005-11-08T23:53:00.000+05:00

like hello??? an applause maybe?

anyways now lets get a few things straight before anything else shall we?

a.. i hate capital letters so bear with me if all i write in are small caps
b.. i am not a blog lover. im only here because of this fuzzed up pyromaniac who goes by the name fauzan sohail. unfortunately he is a good friend of mine and i could not say no to his request for my to start blogging but if any one wants to kill him for me i shall reward them quite well
c.. i love to rant and curse and bitch about things and therefore i come very close to being pointed out as the ultimate pessimist at times. if you are under 18 or do not like to see absurd and eye brow raising comments then it is time for you to scoot away now.
d.. dont ever bad mouth about coffee to me. i will seriously harm you buddy.
e.. dont tune in here too often. even though i have a great ass it still is a lazy one when it comes to blogging especially.
f.. i am not here to look for guys. i have had enough and i have enough already so thankyou very much. if you want to chat up for hooking up, try orkut instead.

thank you for your time and hope you enjoy the show!